February 27, 2011

The guide of sex (Shocking I know!)

Hello friends,

Today I was reminded through some side step of a miracle that;
A: sex is a lovely word to use in an article!
B: lets write this thing!

Be forewarned the pictures shown in this article might be graphic, so who cares. Also I'll be using TONS of them, because it a fun subject that needs graphical representations of sex. Also I love writing the word sex, sex,sex,sex..... also boobs!

Let us explore for not the first time in a scientific way the wonders of sex.

So when you think sex, of course you think of making love to your beautiful partner, and not the German orgy porn you saw last night right? Well that would be true if you are a woman, but the guy well it depends on his level of sexual urgency that he received through instant message from his testiculus.

Many men worries come from the size of their man junk, medical term penis. No matter how big it is always to small. While the average of the world is around 6 inches it seems. Don't believe me, watch the chart.

See told you, while I won't say where mine begins and where it ends. I'm apparently larger then average. I feel very sorry for the man below the 5 inches. For those I say, nana mines bigger.

Does size matter, men will continue to say "No it the motion of the ocean, the penetration of the situation, it's how you use it." But are you using it correctly, lets watch the next chart!

Here we see that the global average of having sex per year is 103 times. This means "most" are having sex 1 time every 3 days. This also means I will be moving to Greece soon.

So men, don't be let down by the size of your unit in charge. It's mostly in your head, and not in the other one! Just make sure to learn how to use it well as it seems most do not! And if you are thinking "But I haven't had sex in ages.", well look at this then!

From the very few people that have done this pole you can see 16.53% haven't had sex in a month. I know, sad.

And what about woman, they seem to always want their breasts better, nicer ass. Wear shoes to raise their ass up, tight clothing to push their breasts out. Make up their faces to fake it into another age (Or look like a clown-ish age).

Yet, I found no chart what the average boob size might be, I did find this!

Implants are expensive!

And if got no clue what those bra sizes mean, well.

Double plus with extra whip cream please!

So from a scientific view point there's clearly more going on here then just sizes. It must be something else that is keeping many away from the bed (The TV table, couch, kitchen sink, shower, etc).

Don't worry guy, she didn't mean to say the other guys name.

So what is it really that attracts people to get into the bed and make the "sex". Well many argue it is love, some others lust, there even those that use it to get over boredom and some others just for the money.

Personally I would love to think it is because of love, mean what is more perfect then two people sharing a tender moment together enjoying every millimeter of their bodies against each other? If you can name one thing then you are not having the right kind of sex!

Believe it or not, she is completely capable of making the sex the best you ever had. Unfortunately for you buddy, you are going to need to work for it. Not saying you will literally have to work so you can pay the lady. No saying you need to actually look into that dusty book in your mind that says foreplay. While sometimes the woman might say "Just do me already", most of the times she wants the romance and wants to be caressed and told she is a beauty out of the world. Unfortunately for you the most lovely word you can utter when erect is "Boobs nice". So try to concentrate, else go by the time honored tradition of guys and lie your ass off. When she asks if you love her don't just say yes, give a reason. "I love you, because when you smile I smile", there you go buddy now you might get a good ride! "Do you really mean it?", Maybe you do maybe you don't, but she will never know. Neither will you ever know if that orgasm of hers was real. But a clear sign it is NOT is this!

Never, ever, ever leave a girl unsatisfied. This is why the foreplay is important. Not saying that you need to spend several hours believing she's an ice cream and you trying to lick her out of existence. No, saying you need to read her body, or at least try. If she moving away and saying "NO" does not mean keep doing what you are doing. Also by no means should you continue when she has a gun in front of your face, when it comes that far just try to remain calm and get all fingers back in their original positions.

What gun?

So you have gone to far and she lost the mood. Well best thing you can do is accept it and let her lie in your arms, make sure to say sorry. Her mood has a large chance to come back if you DO NOT force her.

While it is hard for the man to let go, the woman usually will forgive and forget if you give her the chance. The problem is the guy will then try to put the blame on her and make her say sorry. And that is how you end up without even the slightest release of sexual frustration.

It is better to make sure to lie her way, tell her you are sorry and then wait. If she does not want to be touched just wait, she will turn around and depending on her look you can either say sorry again or just listen.


Don't touch


If you have not ran away you should be about good to go with the nasty of the chastity. The length of the sex will unfortunately lay on you (hehe lay on you, screw you that funny. Hehehe screw!).

So the average sex act is under 5 minutes. Wait 5 minutes, really...?

Seems that foreplay is way more important for some of you then I originally thought. 

Well friends, what I learned today. That I do not need any self help books when I look at these numbers!
See you all in about 45 minutes!

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