January 08, 2012

The world is going to end? Really?

Why hello there friends, welcome to 2012. And it is another year for predictions about end off the world! Yes, every year people predict the world will end, and guess what they were wrong every single time.

So friends, lets take a look at some off the most strange, wacky and surreal predictions I could find from the year 30 till well apparently 2047-SEP-14 till even the actual end off the world, the year 5 Billion.



Suddenly large amounts off the world population has the above image in their mind. 2012, the end off the world, according to a long dead group off people that brought out a ridiculous long calender. Know who also makes Calenders that end suddenly, your bank! And they hand them out for free and yet seem to make new ones every single year. It would be strange to think some aliens finding these calenders and concluding their world will end when the year reaches 3000? 9999? Or maybe because they use a different numeric system or timescale the world may "end" for them in a random time that we can not comprehend. Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, people have been thinking about the end off the world since we realized there was a world. Let us take a look at a few, not going through them all as well there are so far 286 that I found. There are more, but will leave that to your own research. So lets see what we got here shall we!


 Year: 30

Place: Earth (somewhere)

What is happening?: Jesus second coming brings end off the world!

The Christian Scriptures (New Testament), when interpreted literally, appear to record many predictions by Yeshua of Nazareth (Jesus Christ) that God's Kingdom would arrive within a very short period, or was actually in the process of arriving. For example, Jesus is recorded as saying in Matthew 16:28: "...there shall be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom." In Matthew 24:34, Yeshua is recorded as saying: "...This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled." Since the life expectancy in those days was little over 30 years, Jesus appears to have predicted his second coming sometime during the 1st century. It didn't happen.


Year: 60

Place: Earth

What is happening?: The Rapture!

$5 bucks on the one WITH the muscles!

Apparently there are many different raptures, leave it up to religion to change everything they can to each person view off some text. In short they all got the following the same, Jesus comes back, good people fly up into space (Heaven) and those not worthy are stuck on Earth. Earth being the war ground for the battle between Heaven and Hell.

Interpreting the Epistles of Paul of Tarsus literally, his writings seem to imply that Jesus would return and usher in a rapture during the lifetime of persons who were living in the middle of the 1st century. Seeming we are still here it didn't happen!


Year: 90

Place: Earth, Rome

What is happening?: The world ends?


For my next prediction, the sun will go down tonight, and come up tomorrow!

Apparently Pope Clement 1st said "The world will end someday". He did not give a date or reason, just that it will end. It has not yet happened!


Year: 500

Place: Earth (Rome and Africa)

What is happening?: Armageddon!


Bruce is Satan?

This was the first year-with-a-nice-round-number-panic. The antipope Hippolytus and an earlier Christian academic Sextus Julius Africanus had predicted Armageddon at about this year. While he had the most awesome porn star name ever, it still didn't happen!


Year: 1000

Place: Earth (Europe)

What is happening?: End off the world because Jesus wants back in!

Wanted to put some interesting picture here, but I found only very sad and disturbing things, so instead I give you this.


Many Christians in Europe had predicted the end of the world on January 1st year 1000. As the date approached, Christian armies waged war against some of the Pagan countries in Northern Europe. The motivation was to convert them all to Christianity, by force if necessary, before Christ returned in the year 1000. Meanwhile, some Christians had given their possessions to the Church in anticipation of the end. Fortunately, the level of education was so low that many citizens were unaware of the year. They did not know enough to be afraid. Otherwise, the panic might have been far worse than it was. Unfortunately, when Jesus did not appear, the church did not return the gifts. Because giving is for losers. Serious criticism of the Church followed. The Church reacted by exterminating some heretics. Agitation settled down quickly while innocent people burned! The end, it happened for those burned!


Year: 1346

Place: Earth (Europe once again!)

What is happening?: The black plague

Read my lips, NO NEW CATS!

The black plague spread across Europe, killing one third of the population. This was seen as the prelude to an immediate end of the world. Unfortunately, the Christians had previously killed a many of the cats, fearing that they might be familiars of Witches. The fewer the cats, the more the rats. It was the rat fleas that spread the black plague. A serious disease, but we survived! End off the world, it did not happen!


Year: 1783

Place: Earth Iceland!

What is happening?: Volcanic eruption!


Boom BABY!

A volcanic eruption in southern Iceland started. It pumped massive amounts of toxic dust, sulfur dioxide and fluorine into the atmosphere. Cattle died, crops failed, and about one quarter of the island's population died of starvation. By the end of June, poisonous clouds had reached England and much of Europe. Boats had to stay in harbor because they could not navigate. There was massive loss of life in England, particularly among farm workers. Many predicted that the end of the world was imminent. It didn't happen!


Year: Around 1891

Place: Earth (New York)

What is happening?: God commanded it!


Real life morons!

Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon church, attended a meeting of church leaders. He said that the meeting had been called because God had commanded it. He announced that Jesus would return within 56 years! It did not happen.


Year: 1914 till 1975 (Mormon predictions)

Place: Earth

What is happening: Not the end off the world.....

1914 was one of the more important estimates of the start of the war of Armageddon by the Jehovah's Witnesses (Watchtower Bible and Tract Society). They based their prophecy of 1914 from prophecy in the book of Daniel, Chapter 4. The writings referred to "seven times". The WTS interpreted each "time" as equal to 360 days, giving a total of 2520 days. This was further interpreted as representing 2520 years, measured from the starting date of 607 BCE. This gave 1914 as the target date. When 1914 passed, they changed their prediction too "1914 became the year that Jesus invisibly began his rule."

Since late in the 19th century, they had taught that the "battle of the Great Day of God Almighty" (Armageddon again) would happen in 1914 CE. It didn't.

The Watchtower Society selected 1975 as its next main prediction. This was based on the estimate "according to reliable Bible chronology Adam was created in the year 4026 BCE, likely in the autumn of the year, at the end of the sixth day of creation." They believed that the year 1975 a promising date for the end of the world, as it was the 6,000th anniversary of Adam's creation. Exactly 1,000 years was to pass for each day of the creation week. This prophecy also failed.

The current estimate is that the end of the world as we know it will happen precisely 6000 years after the creation of Eve. There is no way of knowing when this happened.

Again, leave it to religion to change what they believe when it doesn't happen what they first believed.


Year: 1919

Place: Solar System

What is happening: The planets align again like they did also in the past.

Aligned we can crush the EARTH!

Meteorologist Albert Porta predicted that the conjunction of 6 planets would generate a magnetic current that would cause the sun to explode and engulf the earth. It did not happen!


Year: 1948

Place: Earth (Israel)

What is happening?: Jesus, again...

During this year, the state of Israel was founded. Some Christians believed that this event was the final prerequisite for the second coming of Jesus. Various end of the world predictions were made in the range 1888 to 2048. Up to 2011, it has not yet happened!


Year:1980

Place: Earth

What is happening?: Nuclear Meltdown!

YAHOOOO!

Leland Jensen leader of a Baha'i Faith group, predicted that a nuclear disaster would happen in 1980. This would be followed by two decades of conflict, ending in the establishment of God's Kingdom on earth. Are you glowing yet, no? It did not happen!


Year:1991

Place: Earth

What is happening: Mystic predicted end off the world.

She laughing at us, not with us!

Mother Shipton, a 16th century mystic predicted the end of the world: "...The world to an end shall come; in nineteen hundred and ninety-one." Strange as she also predicted this in 1881!

Year: 1993

Place: Space

What is happening: Dead from space!

Auch!

The 1993-JUL-20 issue of the Weekly World News contained an article titled "Doomsday Asteroids." Top scientists allegedly wrote a top-secret document which revealed that M-167, a known asteroid, would hit the earth on NOV-11 and perhaps end all life on earth. The M series of astronomical objects were cataloged by Messier: M-1 is the crab nebula; M-31 is the Andromeda galaxy; M-45 are the Pleiades. There is no M object with a number higher than M-110, or so they say! Still it didn't happen!


Year: 1995

Place: Earth

What is happening?: Nothing


For some strange reason, no predictions where made, and nothing happened in 1995!


Year: 1996

Place: Pacific Ocean, yes still Earth!

What is happening?: The world be moving!

 

The book "The Return of Jupiter: End of the world in the light of the Bible" Dorrance Publishing, Pittsburgh PA predicted a disaster starting in the Pacific Ocean: "A terrible earthquake is going to break the oceanic earth crust under the Pacific Ocean by the year 1996 AD". It didn't happen!


Year: 1997 or early 1998

Place: Mars, nah just kidding it's Earth yo!

What is happening?:Psychic Vision!

I read cards, because I suck at poker!

The 1997-JUL-29 issue of the Weekly World News carried a statement by a spokesperson of the International Association of Psychics. 92% of their 120,000 members have had the same "end time" vision. Spokesperson Madame Vredeau predicted:

A rise in religious belief. Prophets and saints will appear and lead the faithful to safety

The oceans will shrink. Deserts expand. Crops will fail; there will be massive starvation

Widespread emotional and mental collapse; increase in crime and violence

Changing weather patterns; basic laws of nature will be disrupted

Satanic demons will appear in broad daylight. War, pestilence, a worldwide plague will spread.

Humanity will disappear around the year 2001 CE.

If almost all psychics believed that, then one can conclude that their predictions are generally quite unreliable. When will one win the lottery?


Year: 1998

Place: Earth

What is happening: Pole shift!

Wrong pole, nice pussy!

Edgar Cayce predicted that the earth would have a new pole during the winter of 1997-1998. Since the earth spins like a gyroscope, this would take an enormous amount of energy to achieve. That amount of energy would cause a massive disruption to the oceans and the earth's crust. That could, in turn, cause very serious, worldwide tidal waves, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. It didn't happen!


Year: 1998

Where: Whackohouse

What is happening?: People went crazy!

The Church of the Subgenius predicts that on "X Day", the end of the world will occur. At 7 AM, "the Men from Planet X, or XISTS, will arrive on Earth, close a deal with "Bob," rupture the card-carrying Ordained SubGenii up to the Escape Vessels of the Sex Goddesses, and destroy the remaining population of Earth, VERY VERY SLOWLY." Bob is J.R. Dobbs, leader and High Epopt of the Church of the SubGenius, Living Avatar of Slack, the Saint of Sales. He was responsible for founding the Church on a shifting, sandy beach of hypocrisy." Since X day did not materialize, they say: "we're still here -- a little shaken, perhaps, and re-evaluating the interpretation of PreScripture..." Further study indicated that we have been given a reprieve. The artifact on which the date was written was accidentally inverted; the end of the world will really happen in 8661 CE! Religion, am I right?


Year: 1998

Place: Earth

What is happening?: Nuclear WAR!

It will happen! It will! What it's 2011, damnit!

A survivalist from Arkansas spammed a warning to some mailing lists. He predicted that in the early morning hours, a massive nuclear war will begin in the U.S. Food will be wiped out; water will be contaminated; 75 million will die immediately; even more will die later. He recommends to "Get strong in your spiritual life, get out of large cities and away from military sites and military storage facilities and get prepared to survive." It did not happen!


Year: 1999

Place: Earth

What is happening: Many different ways the world will end!

1999 was a busy year, 45 predictions where made and guess what, they all did not happen!

A nuclear war will erupt in the Middle East. Those members of The Order of the Solar Temple, who have survived earlier mass murders and suicides, believed that they would gather at Jerusalem in a celestial paradise. They believe that tose members who had previously died have already been transported some 9 light years to Sirius.

Hon-Ming Chen founded God's Salvation Church in Texas. The group believed that a nuclear war would have destroyed parts of Earth in 1999. They have identified a nine-year old boy as the "Jesus of the East", a reincarnation of Jesus Christ. They believe that if they can link him up with the "Jesus of the West" then 100 million lives will be spared. The second Jesus is supposed to live in Vancouver BC, look like Abraham Lincoln, and have been born in late 1969. Their search to date has been unsuccessful.

Edgar Cayce predicted that Armageddon would arrive, the earth's axis would shift, and both England and Japan would sink in to the ocean. New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco will be destroyed by earthquakes and floods. The island of Atlantis will rise from the ocean floor. However, this last event may not happen until 2001 or 2002.

Sukyo Mahikari is a secretive Japanese group which predicted that "mankind might be annihilated by the baptism of fire" as the year 2000 approaches.

Spokesperson for Nelly Hurtado, a visionary from El Salvador, claimed that the virgin Mary appeared and warned that a comet will appear in the sky in 1999 as a sign of the end. Also, World War III will break out and the Great Miracle predicted at Garabandal will happen.

Father Alexander McKenna claims that the Virgin Mary spoke to him in the Chapel of the Apparitions where she had first appeared to the children of Fatima in Portugal. Her message was that unless people abandon Atheism, sin, war and hatred, that most of the world's population will be destroyed before the end of 1999 in a nuclear and environmental disaster. Satan "will infiltrate into the highest levels of the [Roman Catholic] church including the Throne of Peter." 1 The war will be intense: rivers will turn to steam; cities will be leveled; the whole world will be burned with fire.

A movie released in 1999-NOV pointed out that if you take the number 1999 and invert it, you get 666 plus a spare digit 1. "666" is the number associated with the Antichrist in the Biblical book of Revelation. Religion, you love to predict don't you!

Nostradamus predicted that a great king of terror will come from the skies. This has been interpreted by some as referring to a nuclear missile strike: "The year 1999, seven months, From the sky will come a great King of Terror: To bring back to life the great King of the Mongols, Before and after Mars to reign by good luck.”

A poll at the time in Japan showed that 20% of the adult population believe in the King of Terror prediction.

There are more, but let us move on!


Year: 2000 to 2010 in fast speed

Place: Earth

What is happening?: Way to many things, but lets pick the fun ones this time!

According to the Weekly World News for 1999-DEC-14, long lost "Bethlehem Prophecies" predict that one half of the earth's surface will vanish under water in the blink of an eye. The cause may be a meteor or comet hitting one of the world's oceans. This would produce earthquakes, tidal waves, and a rapid rise in sea level.

According to the Weekly World News for 1999-DEC-14, long lost "Bethlehem Prophecies" predict that a "final, stunning epidemic will kill almost everyone left on earth," during the year 2000.

According to the 1997-JUN-24 issue of Sun Magazine Pope John XXIII predicted in 1961 that Doomsday will begin with the detonation of a nuclear bomb in a major European city by a Libyan terrorist group. This would have triggered a massive six-month war that will cause the deaths of millions of people. The chance that this is an accurate quotation is near zero.

Hundreds of villagers in Papua New Guinea have joined the Rainbow Church movement which predicted that the world will be plunged into darkness on JAN-1. However, by financially supporting the church, its members would be spared from the chaos of the millennium and will eventually be rewarded. Ooh silly religion!

According to Weekly World News for 1999-APR-27, Edgar Cayce predicted that a cosmic storm will hit the earth at this time. Winds of 1,000 miles per hour and tremendous swings in temperature will kill millions. The day after the day after tomorrow?

According to the Weekly World News for 1999-DEC-14, long lost "Bethlehem Prophecies" predicted that massive solar flares would scorch the sky. They were to be stronger than any previously observed. As many as a billion people would have been permanently blinded. There were many solar flares; there always are at this stage in the solar flare cycle. None of record-breaking strength.

Marilyn Agee predicts at the Rapture will occur on this date. Later she postponed the date to JUN-20, JUL-9, and AUG-20. When the rapture did not happen on any of these dates, she apparently gave up. Guess she ran out off IOU's to god!

Byron Weeks predicted that all Americans would have been issued a National ID card by this date. Martial law would be proclaimed before the end of October. The new world government would have started to round up separatists and patriots. The U.S. would be plunged into nuclear war and be destroyed.

According to the 1997-JUN-24 issue of Sun Magazine Pope John XXIII predicted in 1962 that Christ would appear in the sky over New York City. Jesus was expected to announce the creation of a 1000-year paradise. Wait that not the end off the world?

On 2001-OCT-28, Paul Smirnov, an Orthodox Christian, predicted that an asteroid will suddenly destroy Los Angeles on NOV-21. He based the prophecy on Revelation 18, verses 2-3 and 21-23. Verses 2 and 3 refers to Babylon and wine which he translates to Los Angeles and immoral films. Verses 21 to 23 refers to a millstone, Babylon, various musicians, and craftsman which translate to asteroid, Los Angeles, the Grammy awards and film producers. He believed that the Antichrist would appear in 2001, going by the name King David.

Jack van Impe once predicted that tumultuous events will happen about the year 2001. The Antichrist was to have appeared, and causes a seven year period of worldwide distress called the Tribulation. This will be followed by the Battle of Armageddon and the second coming of Christ. He has since changed his predictions, delaying them by many years into the future. His ministry continues to prosper, in spite of a string of failed prophecies.

2002-APR-14: Mike Keller Pure predicted that a ½ second before midnight on this date, something called the "Doomsgate" will open. Christ will return. Worldwide nuclear war will begin about MAY-29. The poles of the earth will shift, and there will be world-wide disasters. Yeah because nothing says end off the world like nuclear war!


2002-OCT-26 and NOV-8: Paul Smirnov has issued updates for the date on which he expects an asteroid to land on Los Angeles. These predictions did not come true either. He has also prophesied that the whole West (America and West Europe) is a modern Babylon whose economy will suddenly collapse in 2002.

2003-Late spring/early summer: Space aliens called Zetas are communicating through their earthly contact, Nancy. They describe how a comet visits earth every 3657 years. During this pass, the earth will pass through its tail. This will stop the earth's rotation for a few days. There will be "gigantic Lightning Bolts occur in the upper atmosphere, Violent Winds occur, and petrochemicals formed in the skies rain down in Firestorms; then, as the core of the Earth attempts to align magnetically with the giant comet, there is a Pole Shift with Continental Rip and Sinking and Rising land; how gigantic Tidal Waves assault the coasts, though Water Movement began when rotation stopped, and an Ocean Vortex can form; how plate shifts can result in a Sinking Atlantic floor, affecting the surrounding shorelines; but how the Other Planets will be little affected." The earth will start rotating again, but with new poles, equator, geography and climate. The ice caps will melt and the ocean will put shorelines under water. Sounds like a wild ride.


They did not happen!


2008: Billy Hargie predicted the assassination of the next president of the U.S. by a southern activist. This would cause riots which would require the U.S. army to be recalled from Iraq. Iran will then be overrun by Iran. A nuclear world war will start. The environment will rapidly degenerate. The Mayan prediction for 2012 will come true. 97% of all known species will become extinct. Scattered pockets of humans will survive by living off the land. He describes this as the "Dawn of the Eighth Day."


One off my favorites:

Daniel Dl-Maio believes that UFOs have been visiting Earth during all of the world's past. They are piloted by intelligent beings who once created the biosphere that we inhabit. He believes that there are forces on Earth that are trying to create the fiction that we will soon be invaded by aliens. All of humanity will then focus on preparing to repel such an attack. But, in reality, the "invasion" will be Jesus and his army returning to save the world


And off course the now all famous!


2012-DEC-21: Many predictions have been made about this date. They are mostly based on the end of the ancient Mayan calendar which is to reach the end of its cycle and begin another cycle on that date. Authors differ as to whether there will be major devastation on Earth, the end of all life on Earth, or merely a sudden spiritual evolution.

But wait, there's more!


1998 to 2012 Gordon-Michael Scallion predicted major catastrophic earth events: global warming, melting polar ice caps, earthquakes, volcanoes erupting, etc.

Thomas Chase predicted that when the world's population reaches 6.66 billion, the war of Armageddon may occur. It reached this number about 2006 and is still increasing.

Tathagata predicted in 1999 that the end of the world as we know it will happen within the next twenty years. an imbalance in gravity will cause the disappearance of all civilizations by a 1000 meter high tsunami, as well as earthquakes, volcanoes and "crustal formations. ... Most of creatures are to be exterminated."


You know, end off the world it is all not! End off humanity they all predict but the planet will still continue! At least till the time reaches around 5 Billion years from now, and then....

When the Sun runs out of hydrogen in its core completely (which won't be for another 5 billion years or so) nuclear reactions will stop there, but they will continue in a shell around the core. The core will contract (since it is not generating energy) and as it contracts it will heat up. Eventually it will get hot enough to start burning helium into carbon (a different nuclear reaction). While the core is contracting the hydrogen burning around it heats will heat up the outer layers which will expand, and while they do that they will cool. The Sun will then become what is called a Red Giant and its radius will be large enough to envelop the Earth!


Then there was light

Eventually the Sun will also run out of helium in its core. When this happens the core will contract again, but it will never be able to get hot enough to start burning any other elements into anything else. There will still be nuclear reactions of helium and hydrogen in shells around the core though, and these will continue to heat up the outer layers and cause them to move outwards. The core will eventually turn into what we call a white dwarf star, which is an extremely small (roughly Earth sized) dense star. A white dwarf does not generate energy so it will just slowly cool as it shines.

And that my friends, is how the universe turns our light off!

So stop worrying about doomsday stories, just go have a drink, laugh and be friends! When the world ends, it will end...

2 comments:

  1. Love it! Will End When It Ends. Punto!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i still say we need to have an "end of the world party" sometime around december man

    ReplyDelete