January 12, 2011

Prologue 1

Story of SVB

So I am sick, and for work I need to go to SVB* to get my AO** days. I get to SVB and there's not a seat in the place to sit. Somehow got number E696, and number that is up is  E659. Eventually I manage to find a place in the back that somehow got free. The numbers seem to go pretty fast, "Woohoo" I think, this might not take me all morning. While I watch the numbers go up I notice that they go up at 3 different windows. Strange I think, so I ask the guard what is going on, he tells me "You must first go to window 10".

Ok, I think, well I best just keep eye out for window number 10 as that is what the guard said I had to go to. I should really have noticed him saying "first".  Finally after 1 hour it was my turn. I think wow that not too bad, I go to window 10 and give my papers. The lady looks it all over and starts talking to me "Mhhh mhmh hmmh", I can't hear her because the intercom is broken. So I go on my knees and listen to her through the little window hole in the bottom. "Sorry sir you are not in the system". Not in the system? I've been paying SVB for almost the past 10 years, how can I not be in the system? "Please take this form to window 3 there we should get it shorted out". Strangely I find myself within a place without walls, not in the system?.

In the mean time my fever is spiking and I feel myself drifting in and out of reality. I look at window 3, and with my fever going up by the minute I hear folk songs playing around me. Suddenly window 3 is the entrance to a mighty castle and I wish for nothing else then to enter the halls so I may get the form done with. Within a minute my number is called, I walk over the draw bridge, past the fatty trolls that sneeze and cough around me, to window 3. Once arrived I was asked to take a seat and give out my sedula***. I give the sedula with much dread that it was expired, but luck was with me it was still good till 2012 (I won't need to replace the damn thing if the world ends at least). The lady took the information and started to run around. Taking forms here, typing some on her computer, going to the copy machine, taking some more forms, having a cup of coffee and a biscuit, creating a rain dance and finally returning to me. "Here you go, now please go back to window 10 with these forms" Of I go to see the wizard, the wizard of window 10.

By now my fever had reached the level where I could make coffee with my forehead and pancakes on my stomach. I get to window 10, the lady sees me and waves me in, I give the form and they are all in order. She gives me my number back and says "See those numbers (12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19) those are the doctor door numbers. When your number shows behind any of those numbers you may go in. Now you might think, might even find it logical, that this would go in some kind of order. But alas, the world is not that sweet. While I looked at the digital display of doom I saw all kinds of combo-nations. E640-13, E670-18, E701-15, E632-16, B323-3 (bingo, show him what he's won Johny!). This went on for about 45 minutes, and I could not seem to find an order or a way to calculate how long this was going to take. All I know was that from the 9 offices, 6 already where past my number. Who will be the lucky one!

I kept going in and out of consciousness as my fever was telling me bed was needed. Suddenly I awake, my name was told over the intercom. All in Papiamentu, so no clue where I had to go (Yes I still do not understand Papiamentu that well, if you feel the need to express something about this again then please go suck on a snake or snake like figure). I go to one of the security guards and he tells me to go into the waiting room for the doctors. I think "Waiting room for the doctors, where was I then just now?".

As I enter the room a little round man tells me to sit in a blue chair and wait. I see offices to me left and right all showing those mysterious numbers of before (12 through 19). People keep going in and out, in and out, and I think "What am I doing here, am I at the right place?". Suddenly the round man tells me to go into doctors office 17. I go in, a small man with a mustache is sitting behind a computer from the 1980's. He asks me if I went to my own doctor yet, I told him no as I saw no real need. I just needed some days to rest and get better that all. The doctor looks over my papers and says "This your first time here isn't it". I tell him "Yes, never saw a reason to get AO". He looks at me funny, then writes something on a piece of paper and tells me "Ok you got AO till Saturday". Saturday? The whole week? He didn't even check if I was having some deadly disease (I should really go too a real doctor soon as this cough is getting to me). Suddenly I was outside the doctor office. The time frame from me stepping a foot into the office, till stepping a foot out was less then 2 minutes. The whole waiting time to get there took 2.5 hours. Which considering the old standards of SVB was around 6-8 hours, this was very fast.

So now I got free, free till next weekend. Free to enjoy my newly raised fever and non stop coughing. I coughed so much my lungs hurt and I can't sleep. But hey, at least now I got till Saturday to try to get better.

Well friends, I leave you with one advice with SVB remember for next time....

Bring a book.....

And by popular demand, maybe an MP3 Player or a laptop..... 

*SVB is basically our local health-care 

**AO basically means unfit for work  

***Sedula is what the local identification card is called

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